Love is a complicated subject, especially in the western world. We think that love is all tied up in our emotions, but our emotions run from one extreme to another and back again, all in a short period of time.
The biblical and eastern world concept of love is completely different. Most marriages in biblical times and in many eastern cultures are arranged, most of the time from early childhood. While this concept is foreign to our western culture, arranged marriages have a much lower divorce rate. In most arranged marriages, the husband and wife come from the same socio-economic background, their religions, diet, ethnicity, are all the same. In an arranged marriage, neither party has overly high expectations of marital bliss. They will grow together as a couple over time. An arranged marriage has a commitment factor that our western culture has lost.
Our western culture has love all tied up in the emotions, this is the main cause of divorce in the U.S. people emotionally fall in and out of love. In the U.S. our divorce rate is 50%, a divorced person that marries again has a divorce rate approaching 75%. The divorce rate has a number of factors that contribute to it. First and foremost is the emotional side of love, this emotion ebbs and flows, much like the tide. In fact most people who have contemplated divorce but decided to stay together, after five years report a happy marriage. We, in our western culture, have fallen in love, with love, which is a fleeting emotion.
A biblical concept to love, is to out submit your spouse. If, as a husband, I strive daily to make my wife happy and secure and have her best interest at heart, my wife will be happy. If, as a wife, I strive daily to build my husband up and take care of his physical needs, my husband will be happy. If a married couple only think of their spouses best interest, the marriage will work. This is true for both the eastern and western cultures.
If a man and a woman are truly committed to God‘s principles, then any Christian marriage should last a lifetime. As spouses, we have to fight our selfish tendencies, our I wants, as I like to say. When we learn to have our spouses best interest in mind always, love will abound in your marriage.
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